Yes, I am okay today,
As I was in the cloudy, stormed night of yesterday,
When my mouth frothed and sprayed,
With things I wanted to say,
And my hands lay electric under the immense weight,
Of everything that I have faked
And everything that I couldn’t.
But I am not happy.
Because every moment mocks and mimics me,
And makes me ‘okay’ again, you see,
It reminds me that I am and also am not.
And it laughs
It laughs at me:
At my okay-ness and willing to be who I don’t want to be.
So, when you ask,
‘Are you okay’
I say yes.
Because I have never felt so ‘okay’,
And at the same time never seen ‘okay’ so small and far away.
So I say,
‘Yes, I am okay’
But what I really want is for you to ask
Are you happy?