It’s just a girl (pt.6)

She ends the call. I was too harsh. She had to know. I was too harsh. Get a grip – this isn’t anything new. She’s just a girl. Caught in the ebb and flow of my own negligence. I grab dinner, curry. Something old from my housemate’s cupboard on my new blue plate. Do I enjoy it? I do. I text Ellie, apologise. The day is slow and again I’m bored of myself. Guilt. I go over to hers again. Regrets. I go over to hers again. Regrets. I go over to hers again. She’s lying on the floor, as if dropped. A coin. Heads. Chance. Choice. Mine. And it’s her, after all of them, that I pick. I lay down on unfamiliar ground and wander whether it’s right. And it is and I can forget everything and everyone. I can forget about Ellie and all the others and I can forget the girl from the other night, and I can forget her friend, my prey.

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